Just a quick thought before I head off to the city for some more testing. 

I am often reminded, both by myself & others, that God is in control.  You know what?  He surely IS!!!  This battle I face in my heart & mind each day is not, personally at this time, about recognizing that He is in control. I know that.  I do not doubt that FOR A MOMENT.  My struggle is about my own faith.  Do I have enough to not try to grab the reigns myself?  Do I have enough to trust Him implicitly in such a difficult time of life?  Is my faith STRONG enough for this?

It makes me think of an elastic.  Often when I need an elastic I will eyeball the one I have & wonder if it has enough stretch.  So long as I try it, I ALWAYS find out! Either it works, or it snaps (and I get hurt!).  That's a little bit like my faith ... just like the elastic isn't big enough for the job until it gets stretched, my faith isn't big enough for THIS job until it gets stretched.  The analogy ends with the breaking of the elastic.  It has no choice - it was stretched too far & it broke.  I DO have a choice.  My faith will UNDOUBTEDLY be stretched over the coming months, in fact it already IS, but I walk in to this battle field with intentionality that my faith WILL NOT BREAK. It will be stretched and that hurts, a LOT sometimes.  But I have a God who is bigger than ANY of this & as long as I continue along in Him my faith WILL grow big enough for this.  And who doesn't want a stronger faith???

I have to run for now my friends but I shall return.  Today is a busy day & I appreciate each & every prayer that goes up for me & for my family!

In HIM!!!