I woke up this morning fully aware of the fact that I had some things to do today.  I had phone calls to make. Appointments to make, appointments to reschedule, questions to ask, all manner of communicating to do.  Now .. if you KNOW me you'll know how I do NOT like the phone.  The idea of six, yes, SIX phone calls to make this morning had my stomach in a knot of anxiety.  Does this make sense? No.  But it is how it is & no matter how much effort I put into changing it is has remained the same.

And so I started.  I have one more to make - tonight when I know I will get an answering machine & then I will be DONE.  At least for today.

I talked with a number of very sweet, kind people today & I got some information that makes me happy.  While in Ottawa I will be seeing an acupuncturist who is also trained in Traditional Oriental Medicine   He is confidant there is nothing he cannot help.   To make it better, after he treats me he will make a notes of his tx,  giving me what I need to give to a local acupuncturist so that I can continue treatment between my visits to Ottawa.  I am feeling hope that I have found just where I need to be to get the help I need to beat this monster!  God is SO good!!!

I am working hard to keep from doing too much today. I like to DO ... but the rest of this week is CRAZY & I need to be ready for that. So, time with my book on my bed with the magnetic pad is where I am heading off to now.  I so appreciate all of the prayers & desires to help that are coming our way.  I have fantastic friends. :)

I'm a little bit excited tonight.  I have spent the last 12 days researching professionals who can & will help me deal with this health challenge naturally.  I have learned a lot in the last years about the reasons behind cancer, the causes, and some natural ways to beat it.  My information is plenteous, my experience is non existent & so I went searching for someone who could bring their experience to the table & help me see what I need to add to my protocol.  What I need, what I would benefit from & where to get it are not always easy answers to find & I really wanted someone I could sit down face to face with - and who wouldn't cost me an arm and three legs.  I believe I have found what I have been seeking for, & tonight Mark & I found a hotel for a very affordable price.  It is near the cancer centre we have chosen & has a kitchenette which will make feeing me WAY easier.  I've yet to find a restaurant that uses  food with NO added "crud" to it.  No sugar. No preservatives. No hormones. No carcinogens.  You get the idea of how hard it can be to feed me I am sure!  (I'm losing weight tho ... can't knock THAT as a side affect of this lifestyle!!!)

So, while the idea of me needing to head to a cancer care centre is somewhat nerve wracking & intimidating, it is amazing to see God at work preparing the way for us.  There are many more hurdles to overcome, much more moolah needed, but this is a fantastic beginning & I am excited to see things falling in to place.  

God is good. ALL THE TIME!!!

It's been more than a week since I sat outside the oncologist office in Moncton crying, praying, and listening to the song "I am with you" (by the Afters) repeatedly.  It wasn't a place I had ever really thought about being & quite honestly I didn't want to be there then.  However, it was where God had me at that moment & my faith in Him did bring me a great level of peace.  

I listened to that song one more time, we prayed together, I cried one more time (for the moment!) and we went in.  It was a half hour wait in a very large office with a lot of people, which helped to be honest, people watching is a good distraction.  I also thought of Hebrews 12:1& 2.

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

I sat there thinking about this & realizing that I am SO not the first child of God to be in this position! There are many who have gone there before me & many who will come after.  He has seen many others through this difficult thing & He would see me through too!!!  I needed to throw off what was holding me back - the fear had to GO.  I had to trust that God knew what He was doing (and He DOES) and fall into His arms to relax & rest.  It was as if I was running a race with a back pack on my back, one full of rocks both big & small.  I'd never win that race!!!  This was the same idea, but this time my rocks with labels.  Fear, anxiety, depression, worry, even loss of control.  These rocks had to be thrown off!  This would not be an easy task, nor would it be somethingI could do overnight.  However, the only way I was going to emerge from this battle spiritually victorious was to deal with them as they became an issue that was hindering me in my run.  

This journey of dealing with all these emotions is part of my purpose for this blog.  I have already found that God often uses my own words to encourage me, this writing is not just for others who read it but for my own encouragement as well.  

No, there aren't many cancer details in this blog & for now there won't be.  In time, perhaps, but for now there are enough unknowns & putting them in black & white only gives them more room in my mind.  The truly important thing is what God is doing to do in me, and in others, through this journey.  

My goal is to live out 1 Corinthians 10:31 

So whether you eat or drink, or WHATEVER YOU DO, do it ALL for the glory of God.

This will not be an easy journey, but God walks it with me and may HE be GLORIFIED through it!!!